He’s no Clay Aiken!

One night after work I was meeting a guy for drinks. We met online so I printed his profile and off I went. When I got to the bar he wasn’t outside, so I checked inside, not there so I waited. After about 5 minutes the guy next to me very nervously Introduced himself, “Hi I’m Brian, I think you might be here to meet me, I know I don’t look like my picture, but it’s me, did you want to go inside?” well Brian looked NOTHING like his picture. My guy was tall (he said 6’2) sandy hair and all American guy looking. This guy was just about 5’5, dark hair and sloppy. I couldn’t say it wasn’t me, I look exactly like my picture! Me “oh, ok” I kind of felt bad, he was super nervous and I really could use a glass of wine. We walked in and he asked if I wanted to get dinner, mind you it’s about 5:30 pm, I told him I had a late lunch and probably had to go back to the office so just a drink would be fine, when he got a very worried and stressed look on his face and said “but I told my mom I wouldn’t be home for dinner and it’s almost six, I have to have dinner, what am I going to do?!” So I agreed to sit with him while he ate.

I tried to start conversations with him based on things he wrote in his profile. I got one word answers “yes”, “no”, “sometimes” (good heavens where is the waitress with his food! Oh, wait he didn’t order yet…. Sigh…). If he didn’t start talking soon I was going to have to go, this was getting painful. Finally his sandwich came and I hit the jackpot with a real answer when I said “so it says on your profile you like music, what kind do you like?” He started to talk about all the bands he liked, U2, Coldplay, Peter Gabriel, the stones… Finally something to talk about till he finished eating and I could go home (I couldn’t leave him there eating alone). I told him how I had seen U2 and Coldplay and was going to see Peter Gabriel soon. He said “my buddy got tickets to see ‘American Idol’ live and I really want to go but he’s taking his wife instead. I hope he changes his mind because I really want to go! I really like Clay, I hope he’s going to be there. I mean I’ve seen Peter Gabriel and he’s good and all but… he’s no Clay Aiken!” I wasn’t sure if he was joking, cause in my world Clay is no Peter Gabriel!  He wasn’t joking, he meant it. I asked if he goes to a lot of concerts and he looked around as if to make sure no one could hear leaned in and whispered “ooohhhh noo….. they have drugs there… my mom told me they do”

I had now had enough, I excused myself went to the restroom and called my friend Doug…. “where are you?” Doug “in a cab in the 30’s on Madison” me “good, I’m in the 40’s on Madison, come get me out of here, this is killing me, he’s eating really slowly and I need out, I’m in a booth in the back”

When I came out of the restroom the waitress told me she gave him the check, I thanked her.

I went back to the table, he was done and paying the check and we left.

 

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